My Blog

Love Ladder of China

Man Carves Wife  6,000 Granite Path in Mountain.

Love Ladder of China, An incredible love story has come out of China recently and managed to touch the world.

It is a story of a man and an older woman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over half a century. Over 50 years ago, Liu, a 19 year-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year-old widowed mother named Xu. At that time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman. To avoid the market gossip, the couple decided to elope and lived in a cave in Jiangjin County in Southern ChongQing area.

In the beginning, they had nothing, no electricity or even food. They had to eat grass and roots they found in the mountain, and Liu made a kerosene lamp that they used to light up their lives. In the second year of living in the mountain, Liu began and continued for over 50 years,to hand-carve the steps so that his wife could get down the mountain easily.

Half a century later in 2001, a group of adventurers were exploring the forest and were surprised to find the elderly couple and the over 6,000 hand-carved steps. The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband. As he passed away in her arms. So in love with Xu, was Liu, that no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife’s hand even after he had passed away.

In 2006, their story had became one of the top 10 love stories from China , collected by the Chinese Women Weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the love ladder and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.

A true story…….

Random Quotes:

"The longest journey a man must take is the eighteen inches from his head to his heart. Love is like a knife, it can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that can last a lifetime."

My Quotes:

My Mom & Dad were married for 54 years… My mother is now chronically depressed despite her Alzheimers. My mom re-iterates every conversation I have with her… "Your Dad did not even lay his hands on me…he’s a very gentle & reserve man… not even a pinch did he ever hurt me in my life… Why does he have to go in the afterlife before me…"  What do you do when the only one who can make you stop crying is the one who’s making you cry? I miss them both…

There are many things in my life am grateful to adversely ventured into. Some with regrets, others have been purely misguided fate. For the most part, I cherish many things I’ve somehow learned to resolve like the tale of discovering silk… One day, the emperor’s concubine by accident found a cocoon silk. Then in a tea ceremony, she dropped the coccoon she hid in her sleeve inside the boiling kettle for tea. In the process, she discovered how the coccoon began to unwind itself. Like a ball of rope, light & smooth as a feather, she discovered that it can be woven into a fabric…

Life is funny that way… Though I still have some unanswered hopes, it is best described in the words of Rainer Maria Rilke:

"I beg you to have patience to everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then someday, far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer…"

I can’t wait when the coccoon unwinds itself to my surprise. Like Pandoras box, hope remains…

"Brahma, the creator, first made man, and then the countless wild animals and then the animals that could be tamed. He made the dog last of all and was so pleased with his creation that he let it sit beside him for a time while he patted its head. He taught it to wag its tail when it was happy, and to bark when it sensed danger. "Your work will be to serve the mightiest creature on earth. Your task will be to find him." said Brahma. The dog began its search. Before long it came upon an elephant ripping a huge branch from a tree. "You must be the mightiest of creatures!" said the dog. "I will stay with you and serve you." But when the dog heard a noise in the night and barked, the elephant hushed it, whispering, "The lion will hear you and come hunt for us in the dark." And so the dog knew that the lion was mightier and went in search of the proud beast. The lion was glad to have a servant, but when the dog barked in the night, it was hushed once again. "Man might hear you dog, and come after me!" snarled the lion. And so the dog saw that the lion was not the mightiest animal either. Greatness was more than being big or fierce. In a clearing in the forest, the dog found the hut of a hunter. It trotted over to the man standing outside. The man patted its head, smiling, and the dog wagged its tail. That night, when the leaves rustled close by, the dog barked. "Good dog!" said the man. The dog had found its master."

This is an ode, a tale that somehow came to my attention by chance, when I bought a puppet toy for my dog. I named him after the Archangel URIEL (by Dave’s suggestion). A white plume of hair radiates on its forehead. His name means "Fire of God." I found my dog. By chance, he’s been my inspiration amidst all of my adversities.

Somewhere along the lines of a book… the following words grabbed my neurons… sparked my thoughts, & brought me to tears welling….

“In The Circle of Life, There are no endings, Only new beginnings, And each beginning gives Us an opportunity to make a difference in the life of another.” We cannot teach except by the example we set. Any other technique builds illusions which turn us into heartbroken reformers, disillusioned cynics, aggressive tyrants, rebels or bitter do-gooders. When we work on lifting the moat from our own eye, we throw stones only when we’ve gained purity ourselves. If you’re searching for perfection, look in the mirror; when you find it there, you’ll see it everywhere."

I was in a Butterfly Garden in Victoria, Canada & found a huge moth hibernating in daylight only to be awakened at night. The sign says the coccoon can last up to five years only to emerge for 28 days… It reminded me of the days I have not conveyed my thoughts in this site…

This SONG really sums it up….. it FUCKING hurts!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8oBykb_Pqs

It’s cold & bright here in WA. Often, it rains but clouds do part even at night to reveal the nightglow of the moon piercing the calm water of the puget sound. I sit on my porch covering myself with my chinchilla throw. I wear my hooded sweat & knitted hat curling up to see the small frame of the northeastern sky of my porch. I definitely have many things to think about. Memento’s, memories, disappointments, & the usual small victories I’ve achieved. I still wish for that falling star sometimes. I also read a short story about "Winter" by Curtis C. Conner. Its a poignant reminder of hope & aspiration of growing old… transversing about life & marveling at the physical & memorable things we acquire over the years. These days, I’m tired of trying to bury my disappointments.  My career so far is an uphill struggle but I have managed to break through a glass ceiling of barriers, proving that I can sit with my superiors and & my presence counts. My personal faith so far has provided me a glimpse of answers to things I have dreaded. My personal life sucks, for it may be a streamlined answer to things I grieve about. I think of many people I want to have a conversation with… but often times its intangible, even those whom I remember having to celebrate their birthdays this month. I curl up & try to think that am in a state of growing old with the days ahead & preternaturally calm. I’m still waiting for that wishing star…

My horoscope states the following message today. Perhaps you might find it fatalistic, but it sure beats my days feeling so fucking miserable at times…..

"Maybe all your career plans aren’t moving forward as quickly as you’d like. Maybe that tense conversation you had with a friend is still unresolved. Maybe you’re tired of waiting for that phone call that seems less and less likely to come. No matter what negatives you’re feeling now, you need to remember that there are many new opportunities and ideas that have achieved a solid foothold in your life. Good things are about to happen, and they’ll make you forget all the bad stuff!"

I know I have not blogged recently. These are days I just feel like I’ve fallen into some kind of rabbit hole sulking thoughts after thoughts of what dreams may come. I do miss the fast paced life I had in the bay area, but it sure beats my low blood pressure & less stresss at work. WA does have brighter days. Even the grass here are turning brown. What the hell am I talking about? Perhaps it will be more lucid next time.

“It is possible to give away and become richer! It is also possible to hold on too tightly and lose everything. Generous people shall be rich. By watering others, they water themselves”  Proverbs 11:24-25

Temperament inhabits those who live consciously of their experience from being downtrodden. My personal destitution is nonetheless an unmasked ordeal engendering victory overcoming my own personal loss. I know that in my heart, I did not succumb to anger, but cherish the fact that I gave and provided what I can, with love and faith. Before, it is easy for me to wander and stumble blindly, & let my own sorrow take over me. Life is truly at many avenues of crossroads. To love, at best, teaches us that we can LIVE. This also requires change, which can be difficult to navigate. As each morning I rise, my faith, my hopes, my aspirations, my love, my conviction… all these, I know, will go on and arrive at its destiny.

My friend Lorena sent this to me. I have since opened the pages of Neruda’s poems and read it again & again for inspiration. Madonna (from Il Postino) did not recite it with gusto. The words means so much these days, & at the same token, its painfully true …. here it goes:

If you forget me….
I want you to know one thing
You know how this is
If I look at the crystal moon
At the red branch of the slow autumn at my window
If I touch near the fire the impalpable ash
Or the wrinkled body of the log
Everything carries me to you
As if everything that exists
Aromas
Light
Metals
Were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours
That wait for me

Well now
If little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you
Little by little
If suddenly you forget me
Do not look for me
For I shall already have forgotten you

If you think it long and mad
The wind of banners that passes through my life
And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart
Where I have roots
Remember
That on that day
At that hour
I shall lift my arms
And my roots will set off to seek another land

But
If each day
Each hour
You feel that you are destined for me
With implacable sweetness
If each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me
Ahh my love
Ahh my own
In me all that fire is repeated
In me nothing is extinguished or forgotten
My love feeds on your love beloved
And as long as you live
It will be in your arms without leaving mine

~Pablo Neruda

You CAME and made my place OUR home. You LEFT and made my home my own ASYLUM. I spend my nights in DEATH. I dreamt all these. I moved to wake myself and found I wasn’t sleeping after all. My life became a nightmare.

I ceremoniously disposed of all the objects connected to you. I thought somehow it will ease the pain. I thought they were contaminated with ill associations of loosing you. It did not help. How many more times will tears be my only comfort. How many more times that the potential is dead, and that “our” love was only in my head. How many times will I want you so bad that nothing seems good. How many more times. With you comes the pain that makes me long for solitude. You left traces of yourself all over my room. Your smell on my blanket. I wonder perhaps in whose room are you leaving traces? I wonder perhaps, if you are discovering the traces of myself I left on your soul.

Through all the tears, disappointments, and pain, comes one thought that can make me piece my broken self again: I HAVE LOVED. Forgetting is difficult. Remembering is worse…